Wednesday, 14 August 2019

The Blundred...

Regular readers of these pages know that I'm not a fan of the Hundred. To me, it's fast food, Carling Black Label, Love Island; the out of town retail park of cricket, bound to have the same effect on certain counties as many of our High Streets in the UK. The more I read about it, the less keen I am, although apparently it isn't aimed at me anyway but rather this new generation that will suddenly fall in love with the game. It's due to start next summer and I can't wait to take my holiday during it, even if there are two pounds to the Euro by then. In fact a cruise gutting kelp in the North Sea on a Grimsby trawler boat will do me just fine, just to get away. Here's my view...



Friday, 26 July 2019

England v Ireland - The Quickie

So Ireland played their inaugural Test at Lord’s. England turned up the temperature as London basked in 38 degrees, playing havoc with the plethora of gingers on the pitch. Ben Stokes was rested, left to cultivate freckles in his back garden. If Test cricket was sex, a five dayer would be would be slow, gentle love making – foreplay with a candlelit dinner, maybe some wooing with a theatre ticket. This was a quickie in a back alley. This four day test, was curtailed prematurely, much to the chagrin of many a North Londoner – not the first time in my life this has happened but let’s keep this at professional level, hey? Could Boris get off to a winning start as Prime Minister? Or would he lead us blindly into the Ashes with no future ahead of us? This was a review of the Lord’s Test….

HQ...

Monday, 15 July 2019

Cricket's Come Home

Finally, it’s over. After 48 matches, over 22,000 runs and nearly 700 wickets, it came down to a Super Over that ended with the scores level, England winning on more boundaries scored. Wider chasms have been known between Rahul Dravid’s bat and pad than these two sides who put on a marvellous spectacle. This had everything – it had drama, it had tension, it had controversy, it had us hiding behind the sofa, it had us turning to Category A drugs and it had me needing to change my boxer shorts at least three times during that wonderful Skittish Sunday in St. John’s Wood. Sponsored by the refreshing London Fields Brewery and their marvellous Hackney Hopster, this is a review of quite possibly the finest game of cricket ever played…

Campiones...

Sunday, 16 June 2019

My World Cup so far...

Just over half way through the group stages and the 2019 Cricket World Cup is starting to take shape. Or it would have taken more shape if it hadn't pissed down with rain all week. The UK has been wetter than a mermaid's gusset this last week, which has kept the group tighter than Phil Tufnell at the bar. There have been empty seats, Channel 4 has decided to show games at times that an insomniac would baulk at and the weather in June, has been about as much fun as watching an episode of Terry and June. Despite this, we have had some brilliant moments so far...Here, in association with The London Fields Brewery is The Middle Stump Guide to the World Cup so far.

Monday, 3 June 2019

Leaked Chapter from the Exhaustive Guide to Club Cricket

During the Cricket World Cup, I am offering copies of my latest book, The Exhaustive Guide to Club Cricket for just £6.99, whilst England are in the competition, or until they win it (you may have to hurry after today). In the meantime, here is one of the chapters from the book for free. Read on and enjoy the differences between the professionals and us clubbies. You can get your 'split webbing hands' on a copy by clicking this link here...

https://www.amazon.co.uk/Exhaustive-Guide-Club-Cricket/dp/1729676960/ref=sr_1_1?keywords=The+Exhaustive+Guide+to+Club+Cricket&qid=1559587921&s=gateway&sr=8-1


Sunday, 2 June 2019

Censorship?

Spoof social media accounts and cricket are nothing new. Kevin Pietersen was the butt of some jokes who were friends of his team mates a few years ago and some would say it was the initial lighting of the fuse that caused his departure from the England team. Some are just boring and have had their day, whilst the likes of Fred Boycott have kept us entertained for years. In one cricket league in the Home Counties, the news on the grapevine throughout clubs is of other Twitter accounts mocking other clubs. So much so, that the league have issued a statement warning the protagonists. Not only that, they have issued a statement warning anyone liking their tweets or even following them that they will be subjected to sanctions as of June 1st. Is this now taking their duties too far?

KP...Parody Account caused issues

Monday, 27 May 2019

The Middle Stump Guide to the World Cup

It's nearly here. The Cricket World Cup is about to start on these shores this week and England have a decent chance. Can we go better than our footballers last summer, who like me after 10 pints, couldn't get past a semi? Will it be heartbreak for our lads? Will the tournament song by Dave Stewart come out the day after we get knocked out like in 1999, when Alec Stewart would have made a better fist of it? This is going to be a long, slow tournament with the final on Sunday July 14th, so be prepared for the long haul. Who will be triumphant after a mammoth eleven games? Crack open a Hackney Hopster from those lovely blokes at The London Fields Brewery who have kindly offered to re-hydrate me during the tournament, then read on for the candidates to lift the trophy...

Lord Eoin of NW8...

Monday, 6 May 2019

The Non Turning, Short, Fat, Left Arm Spinner

In my last two books, The Definitive Guide to Club Cricket and The Exhaustive Guide to Club Cricket, I have written about various individuals that permeate our clubs here in the UK. One individual that I forgot about, is a man who is in every club across the land. He is a conman, a man who you really wouldn't buy a used car from, a fraudster, or as they say in posh circles - a cad, a bounder or a rotter. Ladies and Gents, Friends, Romans, Countrymen, I bring you, the non turning, short, fat, left arm spinner.

One of this breed...

Monday, 22 April 2019

County Lines?

Rivalry is a natural thing. Pull back your bedroom windows and I bet the bloke over the road wants a nicer place than his neighbour next door. I bet he wants a flashier car, he thinks his wife is prettier and parts of his anatomy are bigger. Cricket is no different. Yet is it becoming more like football with abuse on social media? Are fans becoming more abusive behind the anonymity of their keyboards? Is it cricket's issue, or a problem for society as a whole? Read on...

Surrey...everyone's favourite to abuse

Saturday, 20 April 2019

Maybe it's because I'm a Londoner...

The Royal London One Day Cup. Enjoy it this season folks because one day cricket as we know it, is about to become extinct. It will be consigned to history - the woolly mammoth, the dodo, the sabre toothed tiger. Why? Because the people that run our game at the top, have now declared that this will be a development competition because there is no room in the calendar for a premier all day, one day tournament. The 100 ball game, aimed at all of those new 'cricket fans', will replace it and at the same time, replace a lifetime of memories for many of us.

Oh Lancy, Lancy...one day kings in the 70's