The guys at the Middle Stump would like all of our fans and followers to be on the lookout for a new breed of cricketing computer viruses that could seriously affect / infect your PC.
|This virus is known to break Windows|
There are many varieties of this virus, each affecting your computer in a different way. Details of each variant of this virus are shown below.
The cocky young Aussie virus - This where the computer develops a memory disorder and forgets about every thing before 1989.
The England one day cricket shirt virus - Designed to drain your bank account This one is especially hard to detect as it changes its format every three months.
The Kevin Pietersen virus - The computer looks great, all the lights are on, but it can make your pc refuse to operate in certain formats.
The Jonathan Agnew virus - Throws you out of Windows, especially if running at the same time as a piece of kit called Phil DeFreitas v.1.0
The Ricky Ponting virus - The computer develops a continuous whining noise.
The lazy club cricketer virus - Will take numerous attempts to get into the net often failing completely.
The Sourav Ganguly virus - The computer develops a processor problem whereby it thinks it's better than it actually is. It also experiences dramatic fluctuations in performance.
The Fred Boycott virus - blocks everything, absolutely everything.
The Matthew Prior virus - very similar to the Jonathan Agnew virus, except this one will completely break Windows.
The Denesh Ramdin virus - You just can't save anything.
|The Chris Tavare virus - Makes your Computer go really slow.|
The Chris Tavare virus - Makes your Computer go really slow.
The Nick Knight virus - The worst of all, ruins all memory of basic functions and programmes, randomly delivering wrong data. Also weakens all communications within the network
The Andy Flower anti virus - Appears when the system fails. If you possess a copy of Peter Moores v.1.0, please delete and replace with Andy Flower.
Whilst also on the subject please be aware of those who upgrade to Girlfriend 1.0 from Cricket Mates 5.1. There can often be conflicts between the two systems and sometimes it is best to run the copy of Girlfriend 1.0 with the sound turned off. Girlfriend 1.0 is often not compatible with other systems such as Cricketclubpissupwiththeboys 20.12, Tour 2.0 and Porn 6.9. Successive versions of girlfriend can often prove to be no better. I even tried Tourtartpickup 2.0, a shareware programme, but this left me infected with numerous bugs and viruses, forcing a complete shut down for a few weeks. Girlfriend can often launch into Photostrop and Whingezip randomly, if one returns to Cricket Mates 5.1. Occasionally it can also have a rather annoying pop up called Motherinlaw 1.0, which cannot be turned off. If one attempts to run Mistress 2000 at the same time as Girlfriend, it can cause serious problems, often deleting MS Money! Be vary wary...and safe surfing cricket folk!