As possibly the worst hair weave in the history of man,
nodded in the winner to send England through to a clash with a nation full of
men, who are very proud of their flowing locks, it occurred to me how modern day
cricketers are also very fond of artificially aided manes, says Middle Stump guest blogger Thorpster.
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| Warne...maiden overs to makeovers in order to get a legover! |
To giggles and smirks across the nation, mainly by those
of us that are follically challenged ourselves, we have witnessed the
development of the advanced hair studio generation.
The first I can remember was the Aussie spinner and lower
order bosher, Greg Matthews. For one who even as a young lad was likened to Ray
Reardon, for my hairline not snooker skills, I stood aghast.
But he has been followed not just by anyone but by two of
Englands former captains and greatest opening batsman in Graham Gooch and
Michael Vaughan. They in turn have been followed by a couple of Aussies. Possibly the greatest ever to don the whites, the one and only Shane Warne as well as the slightly less well known, but aptly named Doug "The Rug" Bollinger. An Aussie work colleague of
mine described Warnies hair transplants and implants as quite simply "unAustralian", which is apparently about as bad as an insult as you can get over
there.
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| Doug shows off the rug |
Warnie, the previously infamous larrakin has gone from
sporting an equally infamous spare tyre and highlighted mullet, to becoming the
poster boy for the aforementioned advanced hair studio. In fact he has gone
full circle from bowling maiden overs to having makeovers, in order to get his
leg over. Quite simply he has gone girlie for Hurley. No more Vernon Kaye or
Ashley Cole-esque late night texting to some young nurse for our Shane, instead its
a night in with the latest hair weave and face creams.
But when will it all end? Will centrally contracted
players have a performance related bonus of a session at advanced hair studios
written into their contracts, like an Arsenal player being rewarded for a top
season with an automatic move to Manchester City?
What was wrong with captain combover look of yesteryear
so beautifully sported by "Deadly" Derek Underwood, Tony "We'll
make em grovel" Greig? Or the Kojak look sported by Brian Close, Darren
Lehman or Matt Prior, also famously utilised by the well known pundit Mike
"Lord of Lords" Selvey?
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| Close would never wear a syrup |
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