That is a quote from NFL quarterback, Peyton Manning; even
though he comes from a totally different sport than what we write about here at
The Middle Stump, it is apt in regards to the news that the (once) great Shane
Warne has offered himself to Michael Clarke, hoping to be the talisman to take
back the Ashes next summer.
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Warne- going for another boundary... |
Warne was the man that got me bowling leg spin. A hero of
mine, growing up. This is why it saddens me when I see that he is thinking,
almost threatening, a comeback to the Australian side. He should be remembered
as that overweight googly bowling joker.
He should make a comeback if he was fit enough, good enough and didn't have the commitments that he now has. If Liz Hurley asked me to come back to bed instead of netting, I wouldn't be reaching for MY box! A lady friend asked me when I mentioned Warney: "Is that the poker player man?". He shouldn't be coming back because the umpteen spin bowlers that tried to replace him failed.
He should make a comeback if he was fit enough, good enough and didn't have the commitments that he now has. If Liz Hurley asked me to come back to bed instead of netting, I wouldn't be reaching for MY box! A lady friend asked me when I mentioned Warney: "Is that the poker player man?". He shouldn't be coming back because the umpteen spin bowlers that tried to replace him failed.
I watched Warne last week playing in the Big Bash league
playing for the Melbourne Stars against the Melbourne Renegades. Warne
skippered his side to defeat, not batting, dropping a catch Monty would have
taken between his pert butt cheeks and going for figures of 0-42 off just the
two overs.
There is no flipper, googly or slider, just a rank long hop
and a full toss. Even Ian Salisbury was sitting at home thinking “fuck me,
where’s me kit?”
A different sport again, this time football and I played
against and marked Shaun Goater in 2005. I was turning out for Barnet Reserves,
and he was, at the time, plying his trade at Southend United. Three years
previously he had scored twice in the Manchester Derby for City.
Goater was slow, half-arsed and had a look about him as if
he was wondering what the fuck he was doing there. I wound him up from the
start by calling him ‘Steve’ no idea why, but I knew that he would get the
raging Ivana if I pretended not to know who he was. He eventually flipped after
about an hour and said “You are the worst player I have ever played against.” I
told him that he was probably correct and he would never remember Liam Kenna
but I would always remember how shit he was.
I hope that doesn’t happen to Shane Keith Warne
Good read, particularly nice little tale about The Goat. Warne would need to prove himself in the Sheffield Shield to even be considered for the Ashes, and he aint going to commit himself to that unless he can get big money to do so - not gunna happen.
ReplyDeleteThe England team doesn’t have the mental scars that he caused previous sides to wear the three lions in an Ashes campaign. Add that to the fact that his bowling talents are not what they used to be and I can’t see Pup Clarke or Inverarity taking the idea of a Warne comeback seriously. It’s like seeing a favourite singer trying to relive their *ahem* glorious past 25 years on when their scream has diminished while their guts have increased.
ReplyDeleteLike it or not time moves on and Warne was one of the finest of his (or any) generation. More people know him for shagging Liz Hurley and appearing tangoed on poker posters rather than being a damn fine leg spinner who caused nightmares for just about everybody.
Warne’s test record is outstanding. Trying to come back now would only tarnish the memories we have of the great bowler. Ricky Hatton came back and found he hadn’t got it. He looked in great nick but that wasn’t enough. I hope that doesn’t happen to Warnie.
Shocking idea. This has got to be a wind-up, like 'I haven't had any work done, honest'.
ReplyDeleteLiked the line about 'If Liz Hurley asked me to come back to bed instead of netting, I wouldn't be reaching for my box!'. Whose box would you be reaching for, Liam?
It wouldn't be Pandora's, let me tell you!
ReplyDelete