Friday, 7 December 2012

The Middle Stump's Christmas Quiz - answers

Here are the answers to our Christmas Quiz for those of you that can be bothered as you awake from no doubt, a miserable hangover! Most of the stories and answers can be found in our book Cricket Banter, out next April via The History Press. We think you'll find it more entertaining than a Chris Tavare fifty...just!

Out next April

1. What are the total amount of Test caps by the guys we interviewed for our forthcoming book, Cricket Banter?

2. Who did Paul 
Nixon describe as the "ugliest player on the circuit and everyone hates you"?
Nasser Hussain

3. Who, according to Graeme Fowler, would drink 16 pints every night when he was at Lancashire?
Frank Hayes

4. Where do you find lemon cake on offer at just £1 a slice?
The Ladies Pavilion, New Road, Worcester - "churlish not to" according to Mike Selvey.

5. According to Rikki Clarke and Steffan Piolet, who is the thickest bloke on the circuit?
Ateeq Javid - when asked about whether he was eating a fish sandwich, he replied with "No, it's tuna". Also told a fellow cricketer he was "Dumb. D-U-M. Dumb"

6. Who slipped Steve Kirby a beamer after words were exchanged nearly causing a huge fight?
Shoaib Akhtar

7. What is the name of Jason Gillespie's brand of wine, and why is it called this?
Dizzy 201 after becoming the first night watchman to get a double century.

8. Brian Lara described who, as having a clitoris instead of a cock, in the shower at Chelmsford?
Mark Ilott

9. Which ex England spinner could have "modelled for Millets if he'd lost seven stone" according to Ed Giddins?
Eddie Hemmings

10. Who has a "special bat", after he gets out and is used for smashing things up when he gets a low score, so he doesn't ruin his proper one according to Jack Brooks?
Andrew Hall

11. Who said to Arjuna Ranatunga, "You don't get a runner for being an unfit, fat c***"?
Ian Healy

12. Derbyshire got a new chef back in the early 90's. Who put on five stone in one season afterwards according to Matthew Maynard?
John Morris

13. With which cricket ground do you associate the DJ Chicky and his dancing mate, Gravy?
St John's Recreation Ground, St John's, Antigua

14. Who was the captain of our Ugly XI?
Rikki Clarke

15. How many ways are there for a batsman to be dismissed? Name them?
11. Bowled, LBW, Caught, Stumped, Run Out, Handled the Ball, Hit Wicket, Obstruction, Timed Out, Retired Out, Hitting the ball twice

16. Liam and Dan nearly caused Producer Bill a heart attack when they appeared on Test Match Sofa, as they described "Tim Southee having the control of...". Who?
Justin Lee Collins. It was during the court case where revelations had arisen saying he was very controlling with his girlfriend, made her sleep in certain positions etc. As he hadn't been found guilty at that point, we were in breach of the law. He was, so hence I am writing this!

17. Which New Zealand cricketer has three toes on one of his feet?
Martin Guptill

18. Name the Middlesex spinner who also lost toes in a boat accident?
Fred Titmus

19. Name two cricketers or ex cricketers who have blocked us on Twitter?
Perm any two from Jonathan Agnew, Tim Bresnan and Ravi Patel of Middlesex. I'm sure there are a few more as well!

20. Who is the finest charity in the world, who we are donating some of the profits of the book to, and deal with educating people against the risk of over exposure to sunshine and melanoma?
Factor 50


  1. 19. Name two cricketers or ex cricketers who have blocked us on Twitter?

    Surely this list is a little longer than two?

  2. Haha! I think we're only up to three. That is that we know doubt there are many more!

  3. 15. er...flinching out of the way (sorry Chef!)

  4. Well done lads, hope you have a Merry Christmas and a great 2013. Neil@ReedCC.

  5. Thanks Neil and thanks for all of your support in 2012. Give regards to all our friends up at Reed CC