![]() |
Adam Shantry |
TMS: Adam,
firstly it must be a huge privilege to be asked to do a Q and A with the Middle
Stump?
AS: Absolutely.
This ranks somewhere in the top 4 in the list of my lifetime
achievements - amongst scoring a goal in the half-time entertainment
during a Shrewsbury v Bristol City night match in 1995 (smashed
one straight through the shivering 8 year old goalie from 5
yards), somehow being invited onto the judging panel for the final
of Miss Wales 2010, and acting as a makeshift
surfboard for Graeme Swann when "Surfin' USA" came on at
3am in one of Northamptonshire's finest/least
prostitute-ridden nightspots.
TMS: Tell
us about the swim? Are you mad?
AS: Who
knows? Myself, Tom Mees (ex-Warwickshire seamer), and Emma Lawson are
swimming The Channel from England to France in our speedos (Emma will
hopefully be in a bikini, although speedos would be an interesting option), to
raise money for the Tom Maynard Trust and The PCA Benevolent Fund. We
are swimming it in relay format, and the distance is 21 miles as the crow
flies, but with tides and currents will probably end up being more like 26
or 27. The water will be pretty nippy so we can grease ourselves up,
and we will be dodging jellyfish, ferries, planks of wood, and the odd
basking shark.
![]() |
A basking shark... |
I am certainly not as mad as Tom Mees, one of the
finest characters ever to have graced the game. He was once in the showers
at Warwickshire with a young and impressionable Moeen Ali, and proceeded
to cover his entire face in shaving foam, before carefuly shaving not
only his excess stubble, but his entire face, including his forehead
and nose. A dumbfounded Moeen asked "Meesy, what are you doing?"
Meesy replied indignantly - "What? Don't you ever shave your
nose?!" Poor Moeen was baffled, and shuffled off, no
doubt reassessing his future grooming schedule.
TMS: Where
can I give to this great cause?
AS: There
are a few opportunities to donate being planned for the Summer, but for now
there is a website :
www.justgiving.com/swimmingthechannelfortom
It
takes less than 5 minutes to donate, and if everyone who reads this only
donates a couple of pounds, it would make a real difference. Thank you in
advance!!
TMS: What
are the chances of being hit by a ferry or hitting jellyfish?
AS: My
brother and I are fans of the odd punt on the football, so he is running a book
on the potential outcomes of the swim. I think he has got a special
accumulator at the moment - Tom getting cleaned up by a Catamaran, me
developing hypothermia of the testicles, plus Man Utd winning the league,
paying about 25/1. I've got a tenner on.
![]() |
Adam's brother, Jack |
TMS: What
is the Tom Maynard Trust about?
AS: It has
been set up to ensure that Tom's name will live on, and will
initially be helping disadvantaged young sports people
participate in, enjoy, and achieve success in sport. The Trust is already
evolving however, and will go on to help many people in all manner of
situations.
TMS: He
was a great lad and one of the first to do a Q and A with us, as did his dad
Matt which was one of the funniest. Why swim and not cycle like the others have done to raise money for the cause?
AS: He
was, as anyone who knew him will tell you, one of the most incredible
people you could wish to meet. I retired from professional cricket due to
injury, after countless injections and two operations failed to remedy the
dodgy tendons in my knees, which now have all the tensile strength of a
couple of poppadoms.
As a result, any long runs or cycling expeditions are
out of the question, but I still wanted to do something for Tom's Trust, so
as swimming involves no great amount of stress on the knees,
it seemed the logical choice! Even in my playing days when I was
moderately fit, I'd rather have licked Robert Croft's jockstrap clean than
gone on a 30 minute run.
TMS: I
believe from our interview with your brother Jack at Worcestershire that you
have previous experience of swimming from when your dad chucked you in a river, didn’t he?
AS: He
did. I wouldn't say he's tight, but when you'd rather chuck your kids into a
Weil's disease ridden waterway than pay £2.50 to go to the nearest pool, you've
got to ask questions.
Almost as bad as the time when he started
abusing passing Bristol Rovers fans from the comfort of my car passenger
seat on the home from a Bristol City - Rovers derby, before squirting them with
his bottle of water. It was only when, mid-tirade, with 4 skinhead
hooligans in hot pursuit 10 feet from the car, he asked why I
was stopping. He then realised the traffic in front of us was solid for three
miles ahead. The Warwickshire CCC sponsored car ended up wheelspinning
into oncoming traffic, before mounting the kerb and diving down a side street.
Thanks
Dad.
TMS: We’ve
heard a few things about the Shantry family that they are gifted genetically in
certain departments. Are you sure the Speedos are going to fit you?
AS: That's
very kind of you to say, although my brother is so confident of his superiority
in that department that he just waggles his little finger at me with a
dismissive shake of the head.
Of the many nicknames I've been given,
Cyril Sneer is my all time favourite - just Google it. Braggy even
composed a song for me, neatly referencing both my reproductive organs and
my lack of pace when bowling. Football fans will be familiar with the
tune, from - "got no song, name's too long".
"Adam
John. Adam John. Adam Adam John. Not very quick, got a big dick, Adam Adam
John."
We
have set the fundraising target at £10,000 initially. If we hit £20,000 then
I'll do the swim in a posing pouch in the shape of a horse.
You can't say
fairer than that?
TMS: Name
three cricketers who wouldn’t need to rub goosefat on and have enough blubber
to get by naturally?
AS: Gareth
Rees and Mark Cosgrove have gone down in the record books as the heaviest
opening partnership of all time. When he trains, and goes to the gym instead of
getting side-tracked in McDonalds, then Will Bragg has got a hell of a rig.
When he doesn't , he looks like Justin Lee-Collins.
![]() |
Mark Cosgrove |
TMS: Funniest
story at Glamorgan?
AS: Ryan
Watkins doing a running bomb from a boat into the sea in Cape Town, not knowing
that he was heading arse-first into shark infested waters was quite
humorous.
An unnamed seamer on twelfth man duty, telling
the fitness coach that the reason for him depositing the contents of his
stomach onto the outfield of a test match ground during the warm up was -
"A dodgy pizza", not the bottle of vodka or 10 pints of lager
that said pizza was swimming in also tickled a few of us.
There was
also another altercation on the Cape Town tour. In heavy traffic during a
rain-lashed rush hour, I ran out of our bus to disable the windscreen
wipers of the bus containing the other members of the Glamorgan squad. At the
next set of traffic lights, David Harrison fancied a
spot of revenge, and leapt out of the wiperless bus, opened the back
doors of our bus, and threw our kit bags all over the carriageway.
Once we
had recovered them, dodging the angry Afrikaners in their 4x4's, we caught
up at the next set of lights. I ran out again, and just as Des (Harrison)
emerged from the side door, instinct took over, and I landed one of the
greatest rugby tackles of all time. We ended up in a hedge on the hard
shoulder, rubbing sand into each others heads, and sticking brambles into any
available orifice - ears, eyes, nose - everywhere, to a chorus of horns
from the rest of the drivers.
Team bonding at its best.
TMS: So
who peed in the ice bath up at Leicester that time?
|AS: I'm
afraid I wasn't playing in that game! Urinating on each other in the showers is
a popular pastime in many of the teams I've played for. True aficionados can do
it while shampooing their hair with both hands.
TMS: Fastest
you ever faced?
AS: Tino
Best. After I got him out and gave him a send-off, prompting the reply
"Let's see how much chat you've got when you bat. Cocksucker"
![]() |
Tino...rapid |
TMS: Who
can drink the most? The least?
AS; Good
swillers at Glam - Matt Maynard can't be overlooked. Years of experience.
Ex-Chief exec Mike Fatkin is also pretty thirsty. Least - Teetotal Huw
Waters. Compensates with his big piece though.
TMS: Best
tea on the circuit?
AS: Boring
answer - Lords.
TMS: Ugliest
player?
AS: That
is a horrible question. I'm changing it to "Player with the best
bum". Jim Allenby. Great bloke too.
TMS: Who do you need to watch out for in the dressing room when they are out for a duck?
AS: Paul
Coverdale (ex-Northants) once punched a wall in a fit of rage after missing a
straight one. Broke his hand - out for 5 weeks. I also gave David Sales an
over-zealous send off when I was playing for Warwickshire, and he was so
happy with it that he was waiting for me at fine leg when I finished the over.
I think we're friends again now.
TMS: Best
sledge received/heard?
AS: It
was started by Graham Wagg, but I have more than happily continued it
whenever I possibly can. When standing close to the batsman, remove your
penis from your trousers while he isn't looking, and dangle it in front of you.
As the bowler is reaching the end of his mark, and with your penis entering the
batsman's field of vision, ask him if he wants to see his mum's lipstick.
![]() |
Wagg the wag! |
TMS: What
were you taught about sunscreen and being exposed to the sun?
AS: I
only really heard about the importance of it towards the end of my career, but
it is vital that cricketers protect themselves from the sun, given the
amount of time you spend in it. I always use factor 30 and wear a big
floppy hat. As every girl will tell you, there is nothing wrong with a big
floppy.
TMS: Ever
heard of the charity Factor 50 and the work they do educating young players?
AS: I
have, and it is really important. Hopefully they can reach out to all of the
youngsters coming into the game now.
TMS: Best
youngsters coming through?
AS: Does
James Harris still count as a youngster? Him. Unless he gets distracted by his
golf. Or gets a girlfriend. James Taylor is quite good for a 5 year old.
TMS: Finally,
who broke more windows when they were young playing in the back garden? You or
Jack?
AS: Probably
Jack, as I didn't get much of a chance to bat during our regular Test Matches
on the drive. Jack hardly ever bowled, as he developed a mysterious niggle
as soon as he had declared on 350-5 after 6 hours batting. 2 overs into my
innings he would get bored, feign injury, and go inside to
watch TV. Fortunately he has been punished for his laziness with
a ridiculous bowling action.
TMS: Adam,
thank you so much for this and best of luck with your swim. Let us know if you
survive, ok?
TMS: Very true!
That swim sounds almost as dangerous as your dip in Barrymores Roydon Lido Dan.
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